Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES.
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.
this doES NOT FOLLOW THE LAW OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE IM SCREAMING
noddin my head like yeah
movin my hips like yeah
my favourite thing about tumblr is there is not one mention of sports
this show is so important to me
hey… no offense.. but do you want to hold hands
A "vampire grave" in Bulgaria holds a skeleton with a stake through its heart. It’s a skeleton from the 13th century. The remains once belonged to a man who was likely in his 40s. An iron rod had been hammered through his chest to keep the corpse from rising from the dead and disturbing the living. His left leg had also been removed and placed beside the corpse
At the time of the man’s death, vampires were perceived as a real threat in many Eastern European communities. People who died unusually—from suicide, for example—were sometimes staked to prevent them from coming back from the dead. (Source) (You may also like: Frankenstein Mummies)
A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.
How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again.
when the teacher says “you have to be pretty stupid to get this question wrong” and the whole class laughs but i don’t understand it at all
Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II
If a catastrophe caused the Internet to crash, there are 7 people in the world who have keycards that can reboot the system when all 7 keys are used together. Source
It’s getting to the point where technology is indistinguishable from magic.
"Oh, no, the MASSIVE INTANGIBLE LIBRARY OF INFORMATION which allows humans all over the planet to communicate and share information has ceased functioning! Call upon the seven sages whom hold the artifacts which will repair it!"
Dude its even better than that, they have to journey to a certain location in america to combine their codes into the Master Code which can revive the internet.
did fucking hideo kojima design this system