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Jessica. 20. Las Vegas.

Oct 19th at 4AM / via: jerkidiot / op: mrscarstairs / 172,378 notes
germanshepherding:

mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.
So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.
Weird right?
I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.
After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.
She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 
This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.
Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.


this doES NOT FOLLOW THE LAW OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE IM SCREAMING

germanshepherding:

mrscarstairs:

Gather round children, whilst I tell you a little story.

So I was watching Fullmetal Alchemist with my roommate, when I got thirsty and decided what the hell, Ima get myself a Coke. So I went down to the vending machine on our floor and swiped my card and pressed the button to vend the Coke. Well, TWO cokes popped out.

Weird right?

I looked around, wondering if I was on one of those punk’d shows, and grabbed both bottles. Suddenly, a loud thrumming came from the machine, and lo and behold, 6 MORE COKES CAME OUT.

After checking my debit card statement, I found that I was only charged for ONE coke. Feeling giddy but slightly guilty, I nabbed all 8 bottles of coke and went back to my room. After telling my roommate what happened, she decided to go back to the coke machine with me and see if only the Cokes are affected.

She bought two Sprites, and what the fuck do ya know, she got those damn Sprites, AS WELL AS 11 FREE COKES. 

This of course jammed the machine, and before I knew it, I was on my knees with my arm up the Coke machine, practically birthing these little fuckers. I even read off their names on their bottles as I handed them to my roommate. We also found a random Cherry Coke had popped out as well.

Behold our finished family. 19 cokes, 2 Sprites, and a Cherry Coke, all the result of a very overworked and confused Coke machine.

this doES NOT FOLLOW THE LAW OF EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE IM SCREAMING


Oct 19th at 4AM / via: fake-mermaid / op: tekkenball / 204,399 notes

lickitungrapunxel:

noddin my head like yeah 

image

movin my hips like yeah 

image


Oct 19th at 3AM / via: done / op: telapathetic / 530,472 notes

telapathetic:

my favourite thing about tumblr is there is not one mention of sports


Oct 19th at 3AM / via: purrypixel / op: stripedsweater / 223,501 notes
chickem:

this show is so important to me

chickem:

this show is so important to me


Oct 19th at 2AM / via: kenkhaneki / op: meladoodle / 408,595 notes

meladoodle:

hey… no offense.. but do you want to hold hands


Oct 19th at 2AM / via: knochai / op: chrispratt / 139,235 notes

Oct 19th at 1AM / via: zackisontumblr / op: / 84,210 notes

Oct 19th at 1AM / via: sixpenceee / op: sixpenceee / 6,848 notes
sixpenceee:

A "vampire grave" in Bulgaria holds a skeleton with a stake through its heart. It’s a skeleton from the 13th century. The remains once belonged to a man who was likely in his 40s. An iron rod had been hammered through his chest to keep the corpse from rising from the dead and disturbing the living. His left leg had also been removed and placed beside the corpse
At the time of the man’s death, vampires were perceived as a real threat in many Eastern European communities. People who died unusually—from suicide, for example—were sometimes staked to prevent them from coming back from the dead. (Source) (You may also like: Frankenstein Mummies) 

sixpenceee:

A "vampire grave" in Bulgaria holds a skeleton with a stake through its heart. It’s a skeleton from the 13th century. The remains once belonged to a man who was likely in his 40s. An iron rod had been hammered through his chest to keep the corpse from rising from the dead and disturbing the living. His left leg had also been removed and placed beside the corpse

At the time of the man’s death, vampires were perceived as a real threat in many Eastern European communities. People who died unusually—from suicide, for example—were sometimes staked to prevent them from coming back from the dead. (Source) (You may also like: Frankenstein Mummies


momgenes:

A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.


Oct 19th at 12AM / via: purrypixel / op: asammyg / 178,924 notes

itsfuckingdistractingohgood:

asammyg:

How fucked up is the entire concept of The Parent Trap? These parents have twins but want a divorce so they decide their best course of action is to just each take one and never speak to each other again. 

#as a twin i am appalled every time i watch this movie


Oct 18th at 11PM / via: purrypixel / op: dutchster / 54,134 notes

dutchster:

when the teacher says “you have to be pretty stupid to get this question wrong” and the whole class laughs but i don’t understand it at all

image



Oct 18th at 10PM / via: ruinedchildhood / op: spacecadet / 215,718 notes
spacecadet:

Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II

spacecadet:

Stuff you could get away with saying on a kid’s show in the 90s, part II


Oct 18th at 10PM / via: pazrascon / op: did-you-kno / 85,064 notes
reconguista:

fetalpile:

rasec-wizzlbang:

did-you-kno:

If a catastrophe caused the Internet to crash, there are 7 people in the world who have keycards that can reboot the system when all 7 keys are used together. Source

It’s getting to the point where technology is indistinguishable from magic."Oh, no, the MASSIVE INTANGIBLE LIBRARY OF INFORMATION which allows humans all over the planet to communicate and share information has ceased functioning! Call upon the seven sages whom hold the artifacts which will repair it!"

Dude its even better than that, they have to journey to a certain location in america to combine their codes into the Master Code which can revive the internet.

did fucking hideo kojima design this system

reconguista:

fetalpile:

rasec-wizzlbang:

did-you-kno:

If a catastrophe caused the Internet to crash, there are 7 people in the world who have keycards that can reboot the system when all 7 keys are used together. Source

It’s getting to the point where technology is indistinguishable from magic.
"Oh, no, the MASSIVE INTANGIBLE LIBRARY OF INFORMATION which allows humans all over the planet to communicate and share information has ceased functioning! Call upon the seven sages whom hold the artifacts which will repair it!"

Dude its even better than that, they have to journey to a certain location in america to combine their codes into the Master Code which can revive the internet.

did fucking hideo kojima design this system


Oct 18th at 9PM / via: garyhiggins / op: fuckyeahmatd / 2,562 notes